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| Cheshire Cat Lit poster by Robin Kaplan |
Curiosity
helps coax the heart
out of hiding.
+ Love Over Fear
Near the end of the book I wanted to finish reading before the school year starts this week, Love Over Fear: Facing Monsters, Befriending Enemies, and Healing Our Polarized World, I was invited again to become "curiouser and curiouser" as Alice experienced in Wonderland. Here is what the invitation to become curiouser was about, making me smile like a Cheshire Cat again at the wonder and whimsy of Jesus, the somehow curious Teacher who knew everything and yet asked to hear more from those He loves.
God Asking Questions
More questions proceed from Jesus' mouth than answers.
Jesus asks 307 questions to be exact.
Asking questions was central
to Jesus' work of befriending.
It is a kind of listening
that is not defensive,
not critical,
not suspicious.
It should unsettle us that a God who knows everything uses questions as His main mode of being with others.
In Luke 9:18 we get a classic example of Jesus using a question to unearth something deeper, "Who do the crowds say I am?" Why did Jesus ask this? Did He not know? Jesus embraced some limits. My hunch though is that Jesus was genuinely curious — He desired to discover those around Him and help them discover what was deep within them.
Jesus moves past appearances.
Jesus is more interested in
ushering the soul into the daylight.
Why is it not a habit to be curious
about each other?
This assumes humility,
that we don't already know
the motivations that lurk
behind other beliefs,
statements, or positions
within the heart.
Curiosity gives away power
to another.
We cannot discover someone's story if we have already decided someone's narrative.
Curiosity is Dangerous (& Disruptive)
We (often) ask more questions to robots than we do the human around us. But genuine curiosity toward those who believe differently than us, live differently than us, worship differently than us — it's a scarce attribute.
Within history, there have been world leaders and forces that have sought to snuff out curiosity: Fidel Castro, Mao Zedong, Joseph Stalin. The Taliban destroyed works of art. ISIS burns works of literature in villages in the Middle East. The Nazis degenerated art exhibits where they tried to deface all modern paintings. During the Middle Ages, curiosity was almost taken out of existence because established church wanted to convey to the masses that everything worth knowing is already known.
Being curious is a powerful disrupter
in the face of fear.
Being curious about information
is essential, but being curious
about each other is an
act of defiance!
On researcher reports that "on average, people spend 60 percent of conversations talking about themselves — and this figure jumps to 80 percent when communicating via social media platforms." Researchers found that there is a dopamine effect, it just feels better. Talking about ourselves gives us a neurological buzz. We often tend to focus more on impressing others with our persona, our education, our eloquence, or our stories. It takes mindfulness to shake off the anxious need to be recognized and celebrated by the other.
Believing Jesus already sees you,
loves you, and affirms you,
frees you up to see others —
to be interested in them.
The actual word "curiosity"
derives from Latin word cūriōsitās,
which means "careful."
To be curious is to believe
that everyone, yes everyone,
should be treated with carefulness.
Curiosity is a disruptive practice,
but when combined with compassion
it is downright divine.
Taking the (often) unnoticed path of Compassionate Curiosity in the midst of the noise and the bombast requires that we must be interested, be inquisitive, and be interpersonal.
Curiouser? Be Interested
Our points of difference can either be barriers or bridges. There is always something genuinely interesting about someone unlike you. Everyone has a story to be discovered.
Curiouser? Be Inquisitive
When we pause our reactions of attacking or avoiding, what's next? Learn to ask questions. Questions might seem like a passive instrument, but in a hostile world, they are more like a pry-bar that opens the soul. When you find yourself about to make a statement, turn it into a question. ... Curious questions create the space for something new to emerge, something unpredictable, something new to arise between us; all kinds of possibilities that did not exist before.
Curiouser? Be Interpersonal
Too often we are preoccupied with our to-do list, checking our phones, and mulling over better ways to spend our time. Sure, we are physically present, but our attention span is in another universe. To be interpersonal we need to take our five senses — taste, sight, touch, smell, and sound — captive in the moment of conversation. Jesus uses all five senses to be present with others:
Taste
Purposely feasting with others
Sight
Looking intently at those around Him
Touch
Being available to reach and be reached
Smell
Entering into the stench of death
Sound
Listening to the cries of the people
As one who has diagnosed ADHD, holding my attention in one place does not come naturally. What has been remarkable is that over time, because of the goal of compassionate curiosity, I have been able to retrain my senses incrementally: expressing warmth in a firm hug, making eye contact, sitting still, asking careful questions, listening intently, and verbalizing what I'm hearing.
Curiouser? Be Indistinct ... ?
It is fascinating that Jesus doesn't preach three-point sermons that lay out His airtight case for why He is right. He hardly puts the philosophical smack down on His doubters. Many of Jesus' detractors are looking for a verbal sparring match, coming at Him with accusations and arguments. Instead of retorts and well-defended statements, He meets their assaults with more and more questions and stories ...
I'd probably have been with the disciples on this one. "Jesus, why are You doing this? You're telling stories but nobody is getting your point." The disciples are frustrated by His subjective parable-telling methods. Why not just make it plain-speak? It has always puzzled me. Why does Jesus seemingly indicate He doesn't want to be clear?
I have a working theory on this. Parables (stories) serve as a kind of curiosity-creating technique. Parables tuck the treasure beneath the surface, out of the reach of those who seek knowledge, not transformation. Some people will listen, and it sparks questions. If Jesus told it straight, there is no exploration required. He is enticing listeners to tune their ears to a different frequency. I suspect if the disciples had not asked Jesus about the parables, He may not have explained them.
The subterraneous meaning
of the Kingdom of God
is found through the gateway
of being inquisitive.
Could this be where it starts?
of the Kingdom of God
is found through the gateway
of being inquisitive.
Could this be where it starts?
Those who ask Jesus
for further explanation
are the ones to whom
the deeper meaning is revealed.
Is it ever okay to be ambiguous?
I believe it is, because Jesus was, quite often.
The work of connection takes priority rather than efficiency of clarity. Does this mean we don't hold convictions? I do. You do. Of course we do. Convictions are not the problem; our postures with each other are. In order to build the bridge of listening to each other, relearn how to stay still and stay curious. To be indistinct is to be at peace not being heard, seen, or acknowledged for the opinions I hold. This is an act of humility.
Love Over Fear:
Compassionate Curiosity
+ pgs. 183-184, 186-188, 191-196
Bonus Curious Posts:
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With presence and peace in Christ,
Rev. Mike “Sully” Sullivan
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