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| Jesus Hugs Children Around the World by Amy Jones, AJs Pallette |
The missional call has always been given to the common folk: the exhausted priests, the prostitutes, the peasants, and those without status (often children). So whether you're feeling strong or weak, full to the brim or running on empty, God wants you and (those you call your) family to join with Him in His mission. He's just looking for willing hearts. + Hugh Halter, Righteous Brood: Making the Mission of God a Family Story
Both Sarah's award-winning book, Teach Your Children Well: A Step-by-Step Guide to Family Discipleship (2022), along with Hugh Halter's most recent Righteous Brood: Making the Mission of God a Family Story (2023), are bold, beautiful, and brimming collections of humble wisdom and everyday stories from generous practitioners who have lived out household discipleship among chosen, adopted, biological, and relational family ties brought together by faith in Jesus. So whether you are a friend, mentor, teacher, neighbor, grandparent, guardian, or parent, this content is for you.
Not all of Emmaus City could make the time to join for this special meal and training, so below will feature some excerpts from Hugh's and Sarah's books focused on stages of discipleship with kids. This is merely an introduction so I would encourage you to seek out these resources for yourself. Here is a preview of both books via podcasts:
+ God's Story Podcast: Sarah Cowan Johnson: Teach Your Children Well (24+ Minutes)
+ Saturate Podcast: The Righteous Brood with Hugh Halter (32+ Minutes)
Both Sarah's and Hugh's books are worth their weight in gold in providing parents, community servant leaders, and mentors we all can learn from because in Jesus' economy, the older can serve the younger and the younger can teach the older how to be with God together.
The disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?” Jesus called a little child to Him and put the child among them. Then He said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming Me." + Matthew 18:1-5
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| Righteous Brood: Making the Mission of God a Family Story by Hugh Halter |
Holistically Forming Christ in Kids' Lives Together + Hugh Halter
The mission of God is a family story — a story that will not only transform the lives of those around you but will also transform your own life, the lives of the kids you love, and even the next generation's lives. It's not an invitation made only to those who have life figured out. ... It is an invitation to the kind of life that will allow you the opportunity to really know the Jesus who came to save this world — and to join in with the amazing Kingdom work He's continuing to do ... When we live into God's bigger story and get involved in His mission, our kids can experience what it really means to follow Jesus — and they often end up living their own Kingdom stories, too.
Paul summed up the power of Kingdom discipleship this way (and it should be the goal of every parent, guardian, or adult who loves kids): "until Christ is formed in you" (Galatians 4:19, emphasis mine). We are to help form Christ in kids (and they will do the same for us) ... the whole life of Jesus, not just the words about Jesus. ... As we let our humanity become like the humanity of Jesus — and as we help our kids do the same. We focus on:
+ The Head (mind) of Jesus: having the same focus as Christ and viewing the world as He does.
Give kids a window into what you believe.
Help them to engage with God in ways that relate to who they are.
Teach them to be curious.
+ The Heart of Jesus: allowing our hearts to break over the things that break Jesus' heart.
Live generously.
Don't avoid challenge, potential suffering.
Delay gratification and experience honest pain over missteps; these are healthy for growth.
+ The Hands (mission) of Jesus: embodying the good news of Jesus and doing the work of God on earth.
Ora et labora ("pray and work") together.
Find things to fix, build, renovate, and start together that benefit others.
Give kids the courage to try, fail, and follow a growing desire to make a difference in the world.
When we know our core beliefs and live them out, we can point back to what God is doing in our lives and help our kids understand those core beliefs for themselves. (This is where the head, heart, and hands often intersect.)
What might apprenticing in the head, hands, and heart of Jesus look like in practice?
If one of our kids is afraid, we show them love and remind them of their identity in Jesus — because our core belief is that love overcomes fear.
Or if one of our kids is being vengeful toward a sibling, parent, or friend, we talk about forgiveness, grace and kindness — because our core belief is that God shows us mercy and requires the same of us as the hands of Jesus.
Or if we're encouraging our kids to be generous and grateful for what they have, we can talk about our core belief that God's heart is for the poor like Jesus' was.
Or if we mess up as parents, grandparents, friends, teachers or simply as adults (because we all do), we say we are sorry and ask for forgiveness, including from kids — because our core belief is that we have fallen short and need to repent and receive forgiveness.
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| CT Award-Winning Teach Your Children Well by Sarah Cowan Johnson |
Kids Living Up, In, Out, With Jesus + Sarah Cowan Johnson
The Way of Jesus in our current moment is incredibly distinct ... (it's) the ancient, global Way of Jesus that Christians have been practicing for two millenia:
the Way of enemy-love, humility and grace;
the Way of generosity, self-control, and surrender;
the Way of justice and peace;
the Way of unselfish and forgiving love.
In a world that is discipling our children to live by the values of greed, power, image, hyper-individualism, unchecked sexual desire, cancel culture, and virtue-signaling slacktivism (along with many other things), our children need our help to walk the beautiful but peculiar Way of Jesus. ... At Sanctuary Church in Providence, Rhode Island we talk about discipleship being a journey in four distinct directions:
Up: Being with Jesus: This direction leads us toward deeper intimacy with God and greater understanding of His purposes. Some classic Upward practices include worship, Scripture study, and prayer.
In: Becoming like Jesus: This direction leads us on the inner journey of becoming healed and whole people as we are "transformed into His image" more and more (2 Corinthians 3:18). Classic Inward practices include things like confession, silence, and journaling.
Out: Doing what Jesus did: The Outward direction leads us into the world to demonstrate, in word and in deed, that Jesus is Lord. Witness, hospitality, and compassion are some examples of Outward practices.
With: Following Jesus together: This direction leads us into community. The Way of Jesus cannot be lived alone. Withward practices include gathering for worship with the Church in a large gathering or MC, eating together, and celebrating together.
Seasons (Hugh) and Practices (Sarah) of Walking with Jesus Across Stages of Life
1) Infants and Toddlers Season
At this stage, your job is to survive. Pool resources and pay for babysitting together with others. Whenever possible, try to live close enough to others in your community so you can put the kids down and still enjoy some adult conversation. You are laying foundations for your little ones to know consistent, unconditional love that mirrors the Father's heart. Guess what? That takes quite a lot of energy, patience, and emotional reserves! Don't expect too much of yourselves, and find ways to get your own downtime. This is a good season to simply and consistently plant the seeds of the Gospel in your children's lives. Pray over them out loud, so they get used to hearing you talk to God. Tell them about the love of Jesus. Start planting seeds. Something will grow someday.
Experiential Stage (Ages 0-6) Practices*
+ Up: Being with Jesus Practices with Infants and Toddlers
Memorize and pray the Lord's Prayer together.
Play thank-you game: What can we thank God for today?
+ In: Becoming like Jesus Practices with Infants and Toddlers
Share daily "gratefuls and grumbles" as a family at dinner or bedtime, closing by asking "Who was with you in the good or bad?" Jesus.
Practice apology and reconciliation: "I'm sorry for X" with response, "I love you and I forgive you."
+ Out: Doing what Jesus Did Practices with Infants and Toddlers
Pray together for any sirens (ambulance, fire, police) you hear or see.
Pray for people asking for money, engage them, or both.
+ With: Following Jesus Together Practices with Infants and Toddlers
Teach kids that "Church" is not a building or event but a bigger family they belong to.
Practice a regular "extended family dinner" weekly or monthly. Cultivate the expectation that others are welcomed at your table regularly.
*Sarah provides more thoughtful reflections, stories, and practices in her book.
2) Elementary Age Season
Include your kids in everything. When you go to help someone on your street, take them along and tell them why and what you're doing, and then thank them for being the Church with you and helping people feel the love of God. Keep communicating in both word and action that Jesus' Church is more than an event or a place to go. When you gather together for meetings, the older children can watch the younger kids, or you can look for other ways for them to join in so that they don't feel pushed out of the action with the grownups. Give them every opportunity you can to serve and contribute. Get them washing up, preparing meals, picking up litter on the street, going on prayer walks. Start reading the stories of Scripture with them. Speak of other people in your community as examples of what they read in Scripture, so they know it is doable to live that way in real life.
Affiliative Stage (Ages 7-12) Practices*
+ Up: Being with Jesus Practices with Elementary Age
Read a devotional together.
Read and sing along with worship lyrics.
+ In: Becoming like Jesus Practices with Elementary Age
Help the child confess their sin to God. ("I'm sorry God for X." What do you think He says back to you? "I love you and I forgive you.")
Help the child to learn to identify temptation, manage anxiety, etc., through a growing self-awareness of their inner life and thoughts.
+ Out: Doing what Jesus Did Practices with Elementary Age
Involve the child in giving decisions as appropriate.
Ask the child to think of someone to pray for at bedtime, whoever comes to mind.
+ With: Following Jesus Together Practices with Elementary Age
Share about your own relationship with Jesus, including your personal growth and learning.
Plan or participate in father/son or mother/daughter events.
*Sarah provides more thoughtful reflections, stories, and practices in her book.
3) Middle School Season
This isn't just a time for kids to be awkward and weird; this is when they enter adulthood. In Jewish tradition (the one Jesus grew up in), the age of twelve was when a young man or woman was invited to be like the bigs. Middle schoolers can learn and memorize Scripture and be invited to live into all the things of God. Build deep character traits of truth, servanthood, humility, generosity, and peacemaking. This is the time to talk about everything — no subject should be taboo. They and their friends are going through incredible instability, facing questions about their identity, struggling with what they see on TV and the internet. They are likely to be exposed to pornography and harmful social media, and are dealing with some pretty heavy life stuff. In our neighborhoods there are a lot of fatherless children, so they need encouragement at every level. There should be openness and freedom for them to discuss whatever is on their mind. In this season, you are praying and guiding them into stability, their identity in Christ, and regularly calling them into mission. At this age, it's crucial that young people have mentors and role models from within the wider Christian community, so look out for and encourage those relationships in their lives.
Searching Stage (Ages 12-18) Practices*
+ Up: Being with Jesus Practices with Middle Schoolers
Create a space (ex. "God nook") for them to engage with God. Encourage Bible reading.
Listen to worship music and attend worship nights.
+ In: Becoming like Jesus Practices with Middle Schoolers
Read stories of Christian saints.
Practice prayer journaling.
+ Out: Doing what Jesus Did Practices with Middle Schoolers
Invite friends to visit a local church service.
Serve in the local community through regular volunteer work.
+ With: Following Jesus Together Practices with Middle Schoolers
Find safe people to ask questions with.
Practice rites of passage such as confirmation, sacraments, coming-of-age celebrations, etc.
*Sarah provides more thoughtful reflections, stories, and practices in her book.
4) High School (and Beyond) Season
You might feel like it's too late because you've only just started thinking about discipling kids. But one honest word really can make up for years of missionary neglect. Kids don't need anything from you other than authenticity — a forthright talk about your faith and your doubts. They need to hear the stories of where you've fallen short. You don't have to grovel at the feet of your failures, but with some levity, make fun of yourself and admit the times you were too judgmental with them and their friends, too afraid of trusting them, etc. Again, give them some freedom to fail. Soon they're going to be off into the world on their own, so now is good time to let them make some mistakes and learn how responsibility and consequence work. If you're there in the background, like the Prodigal's father with arms open wide, they'll be much better prepared to make that step into adulthood. For Cheryl and me (Hugh), the most important thing we passed on at this stage was that we wanted to "talk it over" with them. Whether it was about partying with their friends, booze, drugs, sex, tattoos, activities, traveling without us, or anything else that came up, we'd simply say, "Hey, tonight let's get some time to talk it through." As we did this consistently, our kids learned that we weren't talking at them or down to them but instead talking everything through to help them feel confident in their decisions. The talk gave us time to ask,
How do you feel in your heart about it?
Any sense of how Jesus is influencing this decision?
What selfish motives are you struggling with in it?
Does it feel like a choice between two good options or two bad options?
What could go wrong if you do this?
Are you okay with living with the consequences?
What are you learning about yourself in this?
When we make the time to have even just one significant conversation with our kids each week, it can have a huge impact on them over their lifetime — and not just when they're at home with us. As they then move on into adulthood, you've not only made sure they know they can still talk to you about anything, but you've also given them the tools to make better decision as adults. Aim for an open table, an open home, an open book, and an open road.
Searching Stage (Ages 14-18 and Beyond) Practices* Continue
+ Up: Being with Jesus Practices with High Schoolers
Design own God Time. Involve music? Art? Identify their style (not necessarily the same as parent's).
Practice lectio divina or visio divina.
+ In: Becoming like Jesus Practices with High Schoolers
Experiment with rewriting a psalm.
Practice a nightly examen before bed.
+ Out: Doing what Jesus Did Practices with Middle Schoolers
Initiate spiritual conversations with curious friends.
Mentor younger kids.
+ With: Following Jesus Together Practices with High Schoolers
Seek out significant role models 5-to-10 years older.
Attend mission trips and projects (with or without family).
*Sarah provides more thoughtful reflections, stories, and practices in her book.
Growing a household and extended family that will serve God to the fullest begins with us trusting God with the future of our kids. To steward the gift of their precious lives means we must let go.
Owners try to grow their kids in their own likeness.
Godly stewards grow their kids in the likeness of Jesus.
Let them try and fail.
Let them risk.
Let them give their money and time to people who need it.
Let them become close friends with those on the other side of the tracks (from wherever your side is), those who don't share their (fill in the blank).
For our kids to cleave to Jesus, we must get them ready to leave us. When we teach our kids not to fear anything (including dying), but consider the awe of a God who is with them and bringing His Kingdom of enemy-love, peace, justice, mercy, and joy, especially in their hardest moments of life, they will be free to live.
From McKenna Halter (One of Hugh's Daughters)
As I sit and reflect on our family's life on mission, perhaps what sticks out to me the most has been our family's devotion to taking on hard things in life.
I grew up watching my parents make decisions to walk toward, rather than away from, hardship. Of course, we fail and are far off most of the time, but this has shaped how I found my calling in social work, as well as how I hope to engage as a friend and a parent for the community we have found in Alton.
Doing hard things has certainly taken on new and deeper meaning since becoming a mom in 2020. Throughout my pregnancy, my husband and I discussed the racial awakening happening across our country, as we would be welcoming a biracial son into the world.
What I have learned from my parents, and what my husband and I talk about often, is how we can walk toward this fear rather than running from it. While it would probably be easier to shelter our family from the pain and brokenness of our world, that is not where Jesus is leading us as a family. So, we will continue to follow Jesus into hurting places and take on hard things, with the support of our family and our community who walk with us in these spaces.
From Hallie Cowan (Sarah's Mom's Last Email to Her Before She Died)
I would say to parents who want to see their kids discipled: We are tempted to be a priest for our kids, telling God what the kid meant, and the kid what God meant. No. We should turn our children over to God as soon as possible. Get out of the way! That way, when the kid, as a natural part of growing up, rejects their parents' values, they won't reject God because God is theirs.
+ Excerpts above combined and adapted from Chapters 5-9 in Teach Your Children Well by Sarah Cowan Johnson and Chapters 1 and 4-6 in Righteous Brood by Hugh Halter
Christ is all,
Rev. Mike "Sully" Sullivan
Email Pastor Mike | Website | Visit Us | Support Us
Rev. Mike "Sully" Sullivan
Email Pastor Mike | Website | Visit Us | Support Us
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