Soaking in the lyrics of The Sing Team's "Satisfied in You (Psalm 42)" as I wonder where God is moving in me, my church, and my city, and how He wants me to see and follow Him
Last month was a wicked hard month. Brutal. It was excruciating in that it was cross-bearing, and I couldn't bear it. A physical, emotional, and spiritual assault was unleashed on my family's hearts.
The physical attack came in waves of ear infections, strep throat, diarrhea, and vomiting. Parents and children both were impacted. Some of these illnesses were making their second rounds in our family.
The emotional attack came with misunderstanding, verbal assaults, and relationship fallout. Wounds were dug into. Friendship was fried. Tears were shed again and again.
The spiritual attack came from those we have been sharing our lives with pushing away when Jesus came more to the forefront. This has happened with friends and neighbors with our family. This has happened with friends and neighbors of those throughout Emmaus City. We had many say they were interested in engaging in The Story of God with us. We've had few show up to hear and discuss, though we are very thankful for the few who are joining us. Just one is worth every moment, but we want to see more redeemed, healed, and restored by the God and Savior who loves them.
But in the midst of it all, Jesus is still the Light. And the darkness has not and cannot overcome Him. Even if we can't see where or how or with whom, the Kingdom seems to be breaking through. And, it seems, that inside of us and around us, hell is breaking loose. The desire and temptation to self-sustain, self-heal, self-protect, and self-escape is rampant within us and those we love. But there is no satisfaction for any of us in our drying up wells. Eventually, if we keep drinking from our own strength and our own approaches to "sharing the gospel," we will be left high and dry on the fumes of self-pity. But God has so much more for His children, those found and those who are lost but He is pursuing.
So how do I cry? More loudly. Today, I prayed and yelled and asked and pleaded with God to reveal Himself. He is Immanuel. He is imminent. He is with us. But it seems our eyes are diverting everywhere He isn't. It seems He is not the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. It seems He is impotent. Almighty? Well, we're shaken. But not in the ways we need to be by His power. Instead, we're shaken and weak in our souls. We're hungry. But it doesn't seem we're being filled.
Last month, I preached on how Jesus meets us in our deepest need and then He takes us beyond where we thought we could go. In John 4:10, Jesus says to a woman who has been taken advantage of, who has become the warning tale of her city, who has drunk from many other reservoirs for her self worth but found herself still wanting, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and he would have given you living water.” So now, like the woman, I'm asking God, "Will You give us Your living water?" Because right now, I feel taken advantage of. Right now, I feel like I'm becoming a warning tale. Right now, there are a lot of other reservoirs that can seem so tempting. And I don't want to live looped out versions of Psalm 42.
The Psalm ends with, "I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again—my Savior and my God!" I think this is true, but I don't embody the excitement of this knowledge in every fiber of my heart, soul, mind, and spirit. Perhaps you feel the same? If so, then in the day and night of sucking on our tears, stumble across The Sing Team's "Satisfied in You" with me and let's cry and sing together.
God, make us satisfied in you. Jesus, give us this water you speak of that is everlasting. Spirit, feed us with your fruit so we can be nourished with heavenly healing and share all of You with others.
The physical attack came in waves of ear infections, strep throat, diarrhea, and vomiting. Parents and children both were impacted. Some of these illnesses were making their second rounds in our family.
The emotional attack came with misunderstanding, verbal assaults, and relationship fallout. Wounds were dug into. Friendship was fried. Tears were shed again and again.
The spiritual attack came from those we have been sharing our lives with pushing away when Jesus came more to the forefront. This has happened with friends and neighbors with our family. This has happened with friends and neighbors of those throughout Emmaus City. We had many say they were interested in engaging in The Story of God with us. We've had few show up to hear and discuss, though we are very thankful for the few who are joining us. Just one is worth every moment, but we want to see more redeemed, healed, and restored by the God and Savior who loves them.
But in the midst of it all, Jesus is still the Light. And the darkness has not and cannot overcome Him. Even if we can't see where or how or with whom, the Kingdom seems to be breaking through. And, it seems, that inside of us and around us, hell is breaking loose. The desire and temptation to self-sustain, self-heal, self-protect, and self-escape is rampant within us and those we love. But there is no satisfaction for any of us in our drying up wells. Eventually, if we keep drinking from our own strength and our own approaches to "sharing the gospel," we will be left high and dry on the fumes of self-pity. But God has so much more for His children, those found and those who are lost but He is pursuing.
So how do I cry? More loudly. Today, I prayed and yelled and asked and pleaded with God to reveal Himself. He is Immanuel. He is imminent. He is with us. But it seems our eyes are diverting everywhere He isn't. It seems He is not the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. It seems He is impotent. Almighty? Well, we're shaken. But not in the ways we need to be by His power. Instead, we're shaken and weak in our souls. We're hungry. But it doesn't seem we're being filled.
Last month, I preached on how Jesus meets us in our deepest need and then He takes us beyond where we thought we could go. In John 4:10, Jesus says to a woman who has been taken advantage of, who has become the warning tale of her city, who has drunk from many other reservoirs for her self worth but found herself still wanting, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and he would have given you living water.” So now, like the woman, I'm asking God, "Will You give us Your living water?" Because right now, I feel taken advantage of. Right now, I feel like I'm becoming a warning tale. Right now, there are a lot of other reservoirs that can seem so tempting. And I don't want to live looped out versions of Psalm 42.
Psalm 42:1 As the deer longs for streams of water,
so I long for you, O God.
2 I thirst for God, the living God.
When can I go and stand before Him?
3 Day and night I have only tears for food,
while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,
“Where is this God of yours?”
4 My heart is breaking
as I remember how it used to be:
I walked among the crowds of worshipers,
leading a great procession to the house of God,
singing for joy and giving thanks
amid the sound of a great celebration!
5 Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise Him again—
my Savior and
6 my God!
so I long for you, O God.
2 I thirst for God, the living God.
When can I go and stand before Him?
3 Day and night I have only tears for food,
while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,
“Where is this God of yours?”
4 My heart is breaking
as I remember how it used to be:
I walked among the crowds of worshipers,
leading a great procession to the house of God,
singing for joy and giving thanks
amid the sound of a great celebration!
5 Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise Him again—
my Savior and
6 my God!
Now I am deeply discouraged,
but I will remember You ...
7 I hear the tumult of the raging seas
as Your waves and surging tides sweep over me.
8 But each day the Lord pours His unfailing love upon me,
and through each night I sing His songs,
praying to God who gives me life.
9 “O God my Rock,” I cry,
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I wander around in grief,
oppressed by my enemies?”
10 Their taunts break my bones.
They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”
11 Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad? ...
but I will remember You ...
7 I hear the tumult of the raging seas
as Your waves and surging tides sweep over me.
8 But each day the Lord pours His unfailing love upon me,
and through each night I sing His songs,
praying to God who gives me life.
9 “O God my Rock,” I cry,
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I wander around in grief,
oppressed by my enemies?”
10 Their taunts break my bones.
They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”
11 Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad? ...
The Psalm ends with, "I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again—my Savior and my God!" I think this is true, but I don't embody the excitement of this knowledge in every fiber of my heart, soul, mind, and spirit. Perhaps you feel the same? If so, then in the day and night of sucking on our tears, stumble across The Sing Team's "Satisfied in You" with me and let's cry and sing together.
God, make us satisfied in you. Jesus, give us this water you speak of that is everlasting. Spirit, feed us with your fruit so we can be nourished with heavenly healing and share all of You with others.
"Satisfied in You" lyrics
I have lost my appetite
And a flood is welling up behind my eyes,
So I eat the tears I cry.
And if that were not enough,
They know just the words to cut and tear and prod
When they ask me "Whereʼs your God?"
Why are you downcast, oh my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
I can remember when You showed Your face to me.
As a deer pants for water, so my soul thirsts for You.
And when I survey Your splendor, You so faithfully renew
Like a bed of rest for my fainting flesh.
When Iʼm looking at the ground
Itʼs an inbred feedback loop that drags me down.
So itʼs time to lift my brow
And remember better days
When I loved to worship You and learn Your ways,
Singing sweetest songs of praise.
Let my sighs give way to songs that sing about Your faithfulness.
Let my pain reveal Your glory as my only real rest.
Let my losses show me all I truly have is You.
So when Iʼm drowning out at sea
And all Your breakers and Your waves crash down on me.
Iʼll recall Your safety scheme.
Youʼre the one who made the waves
And Your Son went out to suffer in my place
And to show me that Iʼm safe.
Why am I down?
Why so disturbed?
I am satisfied in You.
For previous church planter anthems, check these out:
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