Lent | Vedran Smailović's Song on Spot of Scorched Earth

 

Vedran Smailović painting by Deryk Houston

"Two men looked out
from prison bars ...

One saw the mud,
the other saw stars."
+ Dale Carnegie

When life is so searing and enflamed, and the smoke seems to snuff out any hope, I want to highlight again a story that continues to pierce my heart and soul. The adapted excerpt below comes from Dominic Done's timely and timeless book, When Faith Fails, that's part memoir, part philosophical reflection on doubt and faith, part biblical theology, and something even more.

In the Tension of Uncertainty: 
We All Breathe
the Second-Hand Smoke of Doubt

The year was 1992 and bombs were falling throughout the country of Sarajevo as war was breaking out, decimating towns, businesses, and lives. On May 27, a bomb fell on a bakery, killing twenty-two people. It just so happened that the cellist from the Sarajevo Opera, Vedran Smailović, lived nearby. He heard the explosion and rushed outside. 

Bodies, blood, and fractured pieces
of the building were scattered everywhere.
Smailović was devastated
but decided to fight back
in the only way he knew how:
music.

For twenty-two days,
a day for each victim,
he carried his cello
to the scorched site of the bombing,
sat on a chair,
and played.

In a place of ruin,
his songs became a symbol of renewal.
In the confusion and tragedy of war,
an anthem of peace.

Victims of that conflict, not only in Sarajevo, but throughout the world, were reminded that beauty could be born in broken places.

Our world is like that bombed-out bakery. 

We're confused and lonely, stretching frantically through the rubble in search of purpose. We're handed two scripts. One says there is no meaning. It's all an accident. Things happen ... 

But Jesus gives us another script. He says that life does have meaning. And everything about who you are, the breath in your lungs, the heart pounding in your chest, your tears, fears, and dreams, matter. He promises that justice will reign, mercy will triumph, what's ruined will be rebuilt; and he invites us to join him the best we know how. Some say this is nothing more than a fantasy. And maybe they're right. But ...

I believe there is more to existence
than blind, pitiless indifference.

I believe in a God who created us,
loved us, gave Himself for us,
and is drawing us relentlessly,
inexorably, lovingly, to Himself.

I believe life has purpose.

I believe death
does not have the last word.

I believe in ultimate reality and, like Nunez's valley (in H.G. Wells' "The Country of the Blind"), it is teeming with life, beauty, color, and depth ...

It breaks us, wounds us,
but then – if we let it –
brings us back to life.

I believe even when the sun goes dark, 

it will return again. 

The eclipse will pass. 

The world may look different, 

but so will we. 

And I believe there is more to us 

than matter.

Where some see mud ...
I see stars.

+ "See Stars"
excerpt from Dominic Done's 
When Faith Fails:
Finding God in the Shadow of Doubt,
pgs. 67-69

Other Thoughtful Considerations:

Subversive

Love Over Fear

Beauty in the Beast

Revelatory Dark

Can I Say That?

The Anxiety Opportunity

Christ Is Lower Still

Searching for Enough 

Planting Seeds in the Dark

Insanity of God

Look at the Birds

Faith in the Tension

Ache of Meaning

What Our Sin Evokes in Jesus

With presence, peace, and many blessings,

Rev. Mike “Sully” Sullivan

Email Pastor Mike | Website | Visit Us | Support Us | Facebook Us

Miriam's Song | Advent Joy: Life Is Hard. God Is Good. Sing.

Miriam's Song by JJ

Joy doesn’t rise from comfort 

but from conviction, 

not from absence of sorrow 

but from trust that God’s future 

is breaking into the present. ...

Joy is the sound of survival

(even in desert spaces).

+ PC: Recovering Advent

This third week of Advent is focused on joy, and this past weekend, we looked at this theme through the shout for joy of Isaiah 35, and then considered what our own song might be today:

1 The desert and the parched land
will be glad;
the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.
Like the crocus, 

2 it will burst into bloom; 

it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy ... 

4 say to those with fearful hearts, 

“Be strong, do not fear; 

your God will come, 

He will come with vengeance; 

with divine retribution 

He will come to save you.” 

5 Then will the eyes of the blind 

be opened and

the ears of the deaf unstopped. 

6 Then will the lame leap like a deer, 

and the mute tongue shout for joy. 

Water will gush forth in the wilderness 

and streams in the desert. 

7 The burning sand will become a pool, 

the thirsty ground bubbling springs. ... 

10 and those the Lord has rescued will return. 

They will enter Zion with singing; 

everlasting joy will crown their heads. 

Gladness and joy will overtake them, 

and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

In this passage, we read of multiple shouts, and singing with gladness, and joy overtaking people who have experienced the desert and shared sorrows along the way. They were invited to dare to believe that there is a song of resurrection even in the places once thought too dead to blossom. And so are we.

Some hymns and songs that have been shouts for us during this season in the life of Emmaus City Church have been:

+ Creator of the Stars of Night
+ Glory! Let There Be Peace

+ We Three Kings (We're Not Lost)
+ Come Thou Redeemer of the Earth

Due to the timing of the message and these melodies above, I smiled even more at God's providence because the next day after preaching on Isaiah 35's stirring shock of images and prophecies, I read these words in one of my favorite reads of 2025: Life is Hard. God is Good. Let's Dance: Experiencing Real Joy in a World Gone Mad:

The Song You Will Sing

We start with a lady singing (in a desert, once seemingly facing desertion and death, but now experiencing deliverance), and then flash back to a misty morning many years earlier along a river. 

A young girl is there. 

She's very scared.

She's standing still at the water's edge.

She's watching something.

And she's crying.

We see that she's watching a little basket, floating on the water among the reeds. Inside the basket is her little brother. He's just three months old. His mother and father didn't know what to do with him, because they are living as the slaves of a fearsome, genocidal ruler. He fears the growth of the Israelite population in his land, and he has a policy: all Israelite baby boys must be immediately drowned in the Nile.

The family tried hiding him. For months, they tried. But now they had no choice but a move of utter desperation: they were hoping somehow God would take care of him. The girl, Miriam, "stood at a distance to see what would happen to him" (Exodus 2:4).

Then things got worse.

In modern times, imagine the genocidal ruler is Adolf Hitler, and of all the people who could walk by at that moment ... we see Hitler's daughter. 

The story is over.

Not only will the baby be drowned 

but the whole family 

may have to die as punishment.

But pharaoh's daughter, the princess, opens the basket and feels sorry for the crying baby. Our young heroine, Miriam, makes a genius move: "Should I find a Hebrew woman to be the baby's nurse?" she asks the princess. The princess says yes, and even says she'll pay Miriam for helping. Miriam walks home, carrying her little brother, Moses, back safely from the reeds. Can you imagine how she felt? What was she thinking then? How did that just happen?

The rest of Moses' story (see Exodus 3-13) tells of how he went on to become part of the tyrant's own household; how Moses killed an Egyptian man for beating an Israelite and went into hiding for decades; and then how God decided it was time for Miriam's little brother to spring into action as an eighty-year-old man who negotiates with Pharaoh, sees God send plagues to Egypt to overthrow their gods, and then ends up with the Israelites running for their lives, chased by an army of death.

Now we see them come to the water.

Standing in more reeds

like Miriam stood in the reeds before.

It's Pharaoh coming after Moses again.

What will Miriam do now?

Moses tells the people, 

"Don't be afraid.

Just stand still and watch 

the LORD rescue you today" 

(Exodus 14:13, NLT), 

mirroring the language used 

to describe what Miriam 

was doing so many years earlier, 

standing and watching to see

what would happen to 

her baby brother.

Shortly thereafter, on the other side of the Red (reed) Sea, the Israelites stand after watching Pharaoh and his unstoppable army swallowed up by the water. Everybody starts singing and dancing and thanking God.

Then Miriam remembers.

She remembers that baby,

those reeds,

that river.

All the fear.

The hopelessness.

Maybe wondering if the God

of the Israelites cared at all or

really was powerful enough to defeat

the seemingly more successful

gods of Egypt.

In the end,

it wasn't her baby brother

who drowned among the reeds.

It was evil itself.

So she starts her own song.

She sings about the goodness of God.

She couldn't have scripted this.

And now she can't resist singing.

If I could sit down with Miriam, I'd ask her to remind me: How does all this end? I've seen some beautiful things ... But there's an ache to life — the trauma, fear, and heartbreak. So much pain in the world feels overwhelming if I stop to think about it.

What was all this about?

How does this end?

And maybe Miriam would say,

"Don't be afraid.

Just stand still and watch 

the Lord rescue you today."

And maybe we'd believe her.

Maybe we'd start believing

we really are safe, after all.

We'd wonder why 

we didn't see it all along,

when Jesus told us we'd have troubles

but to be of good cheer.

Miriam had to sing her own song.

I wonder what your song will be.

+ adapted excerpts from 

Chapter 26:

"The Song You Will Sing,"

pgs. 200-203

by Brant Hansen

Miriam's story above summarized by one author reminds me of these words written by another author:

Joy is a mystery 

because it can happen

anywhere, anytime, 

even under the most

unpromising circumstances, 

even in the midst of suffering, 

with tears in its eyes.

+ Frederick Buechner, 

Secrets in the Dark

And like Yeshua's Miriam (the Hebrew name for "Mary" is Miriam) and her Magnificat song of protest for good, Moses' Miriam sang a song in a time when she could have felt deserted, but instead shouted her praise built on previous songs to God, offering a fresh overflow of crescendo in her present moment. 

Miriam looked for God to come. 

And when she saw Him, she sang.

So can we.

Choose your Advent song and sing.

Advent

(God's coming to us) 

leaves in its wake a trail of songs. 

From Mary’s magnificat 

to the herald of angelic hosts, 

from the shepherds 

to Simeon’s praise, 

songs poured forth 

from those who witnessed ... 

 Joy made music. 

+ FDC: Longing for Advent

Bonus Advent Posts:

+ God's Disruption of Disorder 

+ The Story Is Still Being Written

+ Joy as Resistance

+ Protest for All That's Good

+ All the Light We Cannot See

 With presence and peace in Christ,

Rev. Mike “Sully” Sullivan

Email Pastor Mike | Website | Visit Us | Support Us | Facebook Us

Golden | How Netflix's KPop Demon Hunters Combat Shame

 

KPop Demon Hunters, Netflix's Most Viewed Film Ever

You know together,

We're glowing.

We're gonna be golden.

+ KPop Demon Hunters

"Golden"

This post is in honor of those who (Expectantly? Surprisingly?) enjoyed KPop Demon Hunters as much as I did.

The blockbuster hit movie of the summer, and now Netflix's most watched film ever, not only made me smile throughout due to Sony Animation's reign as the most creative studio on blast (Pixar, where are you?), but also reminded me of a thoughtful book I read a few years ago, Never Cast Out: How the Gospel Puts an End to the Story of Shame by Jasmine Holmes.

KPop Demon Hunters has a ludicrously fun plot featuring a new trio of Hunters (Rumi, Mira, and Zoey) who, while being friends and warriors, also craft ear worm pop songs that captivate listeners and forge faithful communities of followers. This community formed in love also create a shield, called the Honmoon, protecting them from demonic hordes wherever they sing. But the leader of the demons, Gwi-Ma, is committed to breaking through the Honmoon with his own boy band's songs to torment the people he wants nothing more than to be enslaved to shame.

The anime is electric, the characters are endearing, and the action-packed plot has moments of humor, horror, and hope. And in the mix tape of various spiritualities at play, a golden message still shines through.

How? Let's get back to Never Cast Out and its relation to shame. Before KPop Demon Hunters was released, author Jasmine Holmes wrote about how we try to deal with our shame (ex. trying to hide it and cover it up like Rumi) along with how Jesus takes care of us and takes on our shame.

Never Cast Out by Jasmine Holmes

Along with KPop Demon Hunters, which showcases how shame causes us to hide and put on a mask instead of vulnerably revealing our mistakes and masquerades, Jasmine expands on even more temptations that tell us how to deal with our shame on our own instead of going to the ultimate Helper and Demon Hunter. When we settle to be our own functional saviors, Jasmine unveils how we resort to dealing with shame by trying:

+ Shake It Off
Shame is something
that we should ignore,
or throw off of us
any time we feel bad feelings.

+ Work It Off

Shame is something 

that we can off-load 

by working harder

(to perform, to hide, to cover).

+ Pass It Off

Shame is something 

that we can off-load 

by blaming it on someone else.

KPop Demon Hunters tells the tale of how we all have our own marking (or patterns) of shame for things we regret feeling, saying, doing, or not doing. We may try to shake it off, work it off, or pass it off, but it's not cutting it. And then we, like the demons, tend to have no mercy for ourselves or others when we live in a world of creeping shame and darkness. We need a different song to turn us from idolatry of perfection, from the idolatry of self, to receive the mercy we could never earn.

In KPop, the way to escape shame is to expose the flaws or failures a person has been hiding in order to find true friends who are willing to walk alongside us and help us take steps forward towards healing, hope, and wholeness.

Never Cast Out by Jasmine Holmes

In the Gospel, we find that we are invited to exposes our markings of shame to the Friend who took on all our markings of shame. "Greater love has no one than one who lays down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). Jesus carries the markings of all who call Him "Friend" so we know He not only understands our shame, but He also takes it from us and puts it to death by His death. In the good news of redemption Jesus provides for all of us shameful ones, He takes our insecure shame on the cross and gives us security in Him, so when shame comes knocking, we can repent and instead do this with our shame:

+ Cast It On Jesus

When we cast our lot 

with (and on) Jesus ... 

We are always in, 

because the payment for our sin 

has been fully paid, the shame fully borne. 

God's "Honmoon" is always covering us, 

keeping the lies of the demons at bay 

as we listen to the golden song 

of the Gospel. 

And one day His Honmoon 

will fill the earth 

as the waters cover the sea.

In one moment of sacrificial love (spoiler!), we see a glimpse of the cross as Jinu reflects a Christ-like love for Rumi with arms wide open. He fully sees her with all her markings of shame, and chooses to lay down his life for her so that she can rise again with faith and trust in others. Then she becomes who she was born to be in the face of the lies of Gwi-Ma. 

Rumi begins to believe 

she will never be cast out.

Zoey, Mira, and Rumi fighting demons in KPop Demon Hunters

Rumi
(whose name means "beauty")
sees through Mira
(whose name means "behold")
and Zoey
(whose name means "life eternal")
that she can come forward into the light
and not be cast aside,
which sounds a lot like Jesus,
the Light of the world's, invitation,
"Whoever comes to Me
(no matter how marked by shame),
I will never cast out"
(John 6:37).

John Bunyan expounds on this when he writes about how shame tries to turn us inward and away from the One we need to listen to the most:

"But I am a great sinner,"

say you.

"I will in no wise cast out," 

says Christ.

"But I am an old sinner,"

say you.

"I will in no wise cast out," 

says Christ.

"But I am a hard-hearted sinner," 

say you.

"I will in no wise cast out," 

says Christ.

"But I am a backsliding sinner,"

say you.

"I will in no wise cast out," 

says Christ.

"But I have served Satan all my days,"

say you.

"I will in no wise cast out," 

says Christ.

"But I have sinned against light," 

say you.

"I will in no wise cast out," 

says Christ.

"But I have sinned against mercy,"

say you.

"I will in no wise cast out," 

says Christ.

"But I have no good thing
to bring with me,"
say you.

"I will in no wise cast out,"
says Christ.

Rumi discovers this Christ-like voice in her friends, Mira and Zoey (and Jinu). And this heroine's journey of suffering, revelation, and sacrifice reminds me of 1 Peter 1:6-7: "In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." and 2 Corinthians 5:17-18a: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God ... "

With these truths in mind, 

we all can sing with Jesus

in light of the gift of the Gospel,
"No more hiding,
I'll be shining like I'm born to be. ...
We're goin' up, up, up,
it's our moment.
You know together we're glowing.
Gonna be golden."

"I Am the Light of the world."

(John 8:12).

"You are the light of the world."

(Matthew 5:14)

With Jesus and each other,

we're golden.

"Golden" by KPop Demon Hunters

Bonus Reflection:

My oldest daughter gave me some more insight into the markings or "patterns" of shame Rumi tries to hide. The more she did, the more prominent they became. However, when she finally revealed herself to Mira and Zoey, and they embraced her, she embraced grace.

"What It Sounds Like"

+ KPop Demon Hunters

Nothing but the truth now,

Nothing but the proof of what I am.

The worst of what I came from, 

Patterns I'm ashamed of,

Things that even I don't understand.

I tried to fix it,
I tried to fight it

My head was twisted, 

My heart divided,

My lies all collided.

I don't know why I didn't
Trust you to be on my side

I broke into a million pieces,
And I can't go back ...

But now I'm seeing all the beauty 

In the broken glass

The scars are part of me, 

Darkness and harmony

My voice without the lies, 

This is what it sounds like ...

We're shattering the silence, 

We're rising, defiant,

Shouting in the quiet, 

"You're not alone!"

We listened to the demons, 

We let them get between us,

But none of us are out here 

On our own.

So we were cowards, 

So we were liars,

So we're not heroes, 

We're still survivors.

The dreamers, the fighters, 

No lying, I'm tired.

But dive in the fire,

And I'll be right here by your side.

With the powerful lyrics of this song in her mind, my daughter remembered the art of kintsugi that complements how Rumi's patterns don't disappear after she confronts her shame, but instead shine as "scars of grace" where the light shines through even more.

Kintsugi is a Japanese art form 

dating back to the late fifteenth century. 

Kintsugi, which means "golden joinery," 

is an artistic expression of 

utilizing broken pottery 

by highlighting its flaws, 

rather than attempting to hide them. 

They behold the brokenness and 

look at it ... 

Then, and only then, 

will they try to mend it

 and try to make it new.

When the broken shards 

are put back together again, 

gold powder is mixed into the adhesive 

in order to highlight 

the beauty of the brokenness. 

Kintsugi serves as a compelling metaphor 

for what it means to be a true healer 

in the name of Jesus. 

We do not attempt 

to hide the brokenness. 

Instead, we attempt to see the fissures, 

to behold the brokenness, 

and invite Jesus, 

our Kintsugi master, 

to usher forth healing and wholeness. 

It is the gold adhesive 

of the good news of Jesus Christ 

which mends and brings beauty. 

It is a process with others 

of mending and trying 

to lead us toward something new.

" ... Now I'm seeing all the beauty 

In the broken glass

The scars are part of me, 

Darkness and harmony

My voice without the lies, 

This is what it sounds like ...

We're shattering the silence, 

We're rising, defiant,

Shouting in the quiet, 

'You're not alone!' ... "

Bonus Shame Post:

+ Learn the Story of the Gospel

through the Lens of a

Shame and Honor Culture

Bonus Story Post:

+ The Gospel is Like a

Fantasy Coming-to-Life

More Film Posts:

+ A Quiet Place

+ Arrival

+ Children of Men
+ Tokyo Godfathers

+ Gravity
+ Coco

+ Of Gods and Men
+ A Hidden Life

Next Post:

Burn with Shame

or Blaze with Glory? 

Christ is all,

Rev. Mike "Sully" Sullivan

Email Pastor Mike | Website | Visit Us | Support Us | Facebook Us

One Thing I Ask of the Lord | I Don't Have to Pretend + Victory

 

In the dark be a Light ...

Let Your fire lead at night.
When our foes come to fight,
We need You on our side.

Hell tried it.

God denied it.

El Shaddai

And so you ask,

"What can I do if even

the mighty, wealthy, and wise

are compromised in 

the fight against the night

if even they have not the power

to defeat the darkness with light?"

My friend, the greatest thing

that anyone can do is

something that everyone can do.

Light a candle.

It's that simple.

You take a candle of hope

and then you light it

with the flame of faith.

Have faith and believe

in the hopeful idea that

the sun will rise.

And when the Son arrives

all of our tears will be wiped

from our eyes ...

Death will no longer have power

for it will be Glory Hour.

+ Victory Boyd

ii. Glory Hour 

Glory Hour by Victory Boyd

"One Thing" arrives off Victory Boyd's latest album, Glory Hour. Boyd revealed she made the project "after five years of what felt like setbacks" and "serves as a representation of God's grace in [her] life."

One Thing

Victory Boyd

2013 A.D.

One thing,

One thing I have asked of the Lord,

That I may dwell

In the house of the Lord

All of the days of my life,

To behold the beauty of the Lord

Every day and every night.

I want to meditate in His temple,

Resting in the glory of His light.

It's the one thing that I'm searching for ...

One thing that I ask of the Lord,

I want to be with You
Every single day of my life.

All I want is to hear Him speak
And everything will be alright.

Just like Mary sat at His feet,
Can't nobody take away my right.

So I walk with a heart of faith,
I refuse to live by sight.

All the demons that had me chained
All of a sudden are put to flight

When I call on the name 

Of my Savior, Jesus Christ,

Instantly, I start to reign
Over my enemies left and right

'Cause I know my God is great,
And He's already won the fight

So I won't be afraid of 
The terror that comes by night.
(Chorus)

Oh, chill, you don't have to deal

Lean on the arms of
The Father who can heal

Be still; why, all I see is hell?

Fighting to be well 

Just like everybody else, 

So snap, wait, Coming up the back

All my enemies
Aiming at me with attacks

Trying to kill, steal, 

Discourage me with bills but

Jesus on the scene 

With the Table and the meal.

Come rescue,
He knows how you feel.

He knows how to make
These threats no longer real

Jesus, fill me up with one thing ...

(Chorus)

Victory Boyd says, “My song ‘El Shaddai’ is a cry out to God from a place of humility. It’s from this place that I’ve personally experienced Him come to my rescue and clothe me in His strength.” She adds, “I want people to connect with this song and experience the power of El-Shaddai in their weakest moments.” Meaning “God Almighty” in Hebrew, “El Shaddai” is a song that sees Victory call out for God’s protection in times of darkness. Sandwiching the harmoniously sung, "We need you on our side, El Shaddai" chorus, her verses see her “rebuke suicide.”

El Shaddai

Victory Boyd

2023 A.D.

We lift up our eyes.

We rebuke suicide.

We cast all care aside.

We bow down our pride.

Rescue us from the tide.

On Your wings, lift us high.

In the dark be a Light.

We need You on our side.

El Shaddai,
We need You on our side.

Let Your cloud be our guide.

Let Your fire lead at night.

When our foes come to fight,
We need You on our side.

(Chorus)

Hell tried it,
God denied it.

El Shaddai,
El Shaddai.

Baal we bind,
Tell 'em why.

We ridin' with El Shaddai,

El Shaddai.

I don't have to pretend
Like everything's okay.

That's not what Jesus meant 

When He said to have faith.

If you see me crying, 

I'm being true

Instead of lying 

About what I'm going through.

I'm trusting God
To heal my every wound.

And I know He will.

He makes all things new.

+ Victory Boyd
I Don't Have to Pretend

May God's Kingdom come, His will be done.

Que le Royaume de Dieu vienne,
que sa volonté soit faite.
愿神的国降临，愿神的旨意成就。
Nguyện xin Nước Chúa đến, ý Ngài được nên.
Jesús nuestra Rey, venga Tu reino!
🙏💗🍞🍷👑🌅🌇

With anticipation and joy,

Rev. Mike “Sully” Sullivan

Email Pastor Mike | Website | Visit Us | Support Us | Facebook Us