In the midst of the damage, leaders will look for ways to improve, not merely modify actions. They will count the cost, and focus on forecasting for the future. As they comfort, they will challenge in order to bring change and transformation. When anxiety prevails, what is most needed is the imaginative capacities of the people who are leading the congregation.
During this unique moment in human history when we are as anxious as we've ever been, I wanted to share some excerpts from one of the best books on servant leadership that I have read, Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times, for this series of City Notes (CN). Here is the link to the previous post: CN | Congregational Leadership for Our Anxious Times
And here is the next section:
Part 2 | The Leader's Functioning
(With) troubled congregations, five recurring issues emerged:
1) high anxiety;
2) systemic impasse (two parties polarized);
3) lack of a clear sense of mission (even if a mission statement was in place, it did not inform their action, and most people were unaware of it);
4) poor boundaries (including gossip, allowing hearsay to represent fact, intimidation of others, misuse of funds, voting irregularity, not confronting questionable behavior, indiscriminate firing of staff);
5) and avoidance of problems.
Whether congregations turned things around or addressed their situation depended on the response of the congregational leadership. Did the leadership focus on the damage or did they look for ways to improve and modify actions? Were they counting the cost or casting the future? Were they on the side of challenge or comfort? + pg. 47
Chapter 4 | Holy Tissue
When anxiety prevails, what is most needed is often what is most lacking – namely the imaginative capacities of the people who are leading the congregation. + pgs. 54-55
When anxiety prevails, what is most needed is often what is most lacking – namely the imaginative capacities of the people who are leading the congregation. + pgs. 54-55
The brain is an incredible instrument, but whether it is at the service of a chronically anxious person or a reflective person makes a world of difference. Notice that when Jesus taught people, he directed his energy to their left prefrontal cortex, not the amygdala. He sought to reach people thoughtfully, not reactively. He told stories; he asked questions. He spoke about the future. He respected and noticed those who came to him. Jesus clearly stated his position and defined himself. Both Jesus’s invitation to trust God’s unconditional love and the instruction on loving action are designed to free us from our survival brain with its defensive instincts, self-serving protective behaviors, and reflexive reliance on aggression. Could we imagine Jesus saying to us: Come, let go of all your survival schemes, and follow me. Do you think an eye for an eye is better than a new way of seeing? Can you become as a little child again, the way you were before you learned all your self-protective reactions? Do you think your survival strategies are long-lasting? Don’t they last for the moment but not the long run? Doesn’t the lower brain play it safe? Doesn’t it like repetition and precedence? It won’t shake habits. Can you risk yourself, throw yourself to the winds, and drop your defenses? Will you use your ‘holy tissue’ to the do the work that is holy – being set apart to lead my people? + pgs. 61-62
I made the mistake of thinking that if I presented issues to a congregation clearly, the people would respond appropriately. What I discovered is that not all people in a given situation will find clarity comforting. Even if the information is quite clear, if it runs contrary to someone’s viewpoint, they will contest it. Their own emotionality overrides their thinking capacity. Their emotionality limits the thinking brain’s capacity to focus on facts. The survival brain will protect us not only from bodily harm but also from challenges to our world of insight and meaning. + pg. 63
To move people to their left prefrontal cortex, I have used the following exercise:
1) Describe the current situation. The difficulty is … Party 1 would probably say the key issue involves … Party 2 would probably say the key issue involves …
2) Describe the ideal situation. I would like to see … Party 1 would like … Party 2 would like …
3) What has Party 1 or Party 2 done to move the impasse, conflict, or problem toward a beneficial outcome? Party 1 did … Party 2 did…
4) What outcomes are likely if the impasse, conflict, or problem is managed? Party 1 would like … Party 2 would like …
5) What outcomes are likely if the impasse, conflict, or problem is not managed? Party 1 sees … Party 2 sees …
6) What, in your view, is preventing movement toward progress, improvement, or change? Party 1 sees … Party 2 sees …
7) Is there a third party? How would they answer these questions? + pg. 64
Chapter 5 | Influencing the Emotional Field
The stagnant congregation can be led by someone who avoids challenge rather than initiates it. When a new situation requires a change, the leader may be the one blocking it. The leader’s positive influence in crucial times is accomplished through both the leader’s being (demeanor, spirit, and poise) as well as the leader’s thoughtful functioning. Both attitude and action influence outcomes. + pg. 69
Leaders are not drawn into making anxious ‘fix it’ statements, minimizing what happened, or demanding that people put this behind them. Nor do leaders express an anxious piety to dampen questions about God’s purposes and mercy. The leaders allow the darkness to be, knowing dawn is (often) months away … This is what theologian Jospeh Sittler called ‘the germinating darkness,’ proposing, ‘If you completely wipe out the darkness, nothing can come forth and grow.’ At times of crisis, congregation functions best when its key leaders are differentiated. The crisis certainly ushers in confusion, despair, and a temporary period of powerlessness and hopelessness. It is a crucial time for the community to slow down and to reflect on what happened. The natural instinct is just the opposite – to press immediately for decisions, explanations, and actions to dispel the awful uncertainty and helplessness. Impatience has its source in anxiety. Experience has taught us that healing has its own timetable … Crisis may shatter our beliefs, threaten our security, and expose our vulnerabilities. To counteract these and other disturbing consequences, leaders, by their patience, hope, and reframing of the event, can calm the people who are affected. + pg. 71
Congregations not focused on their mission (destination) meander or float aimlessly … Peter Drucker’s self-assessment tool (states):
1) What is our mission?
2) Who do we serve?
3) What does s/he value?
4) What are the results?
5.) What is our plan?
Providing a focus is the work of leadership. If the congregation is not focused on its mission, it will focus on something – perhaps the budget, the past glory days, or the pastor’s performance. + pgs. 72-73
The leader is the one who can most influence the congregation by
challenging it. The leader functions like the wind.
When challenging, leaders will surely kick up the dust of anxiety, since
resistance is a natural reaction to challenge. Resisters essentially say, ‘Let
us be content in our homeostatic world.’ + pg. 73
A leader has to expect people to raise opposition when the community is resting comfortably, and then it is pushed, pulled, or stretched. Opportune times to challenge usually appear when:
1) the community hits bottom;
2) real events open eyes and sharpen awareness;
3) a sudden, shattering experience occurs;
4) the congregation is in a learning mode and someone excites their attention.
If the leader adapts his functioning to the weakest members, he enables their dependency, encourages their happy ignorance, and reinforces their helplessness. To protect a congregation from bad news or upsetting changes is to admit that the system is weak and fragile, too brittle to be challenged. The congregation’s threshold for pain is low and its opportunity for changing is negligible. But distress is not always an obstacle to learning. Pain can be a teacher. Real learning begins when the threat of pain emerges … If the leader does not have some degree of toleration of pain, it’s doubtful that others will be able to tolerate pain and use it for growth. As a result, Friedman asserted, the weakest, most dependent, and most emotionally driven people will control the congregation. + pgs. 73-78
Whatever the trigger of anxiety might be, whatever the anxious behaviors, the
healthier way for leaders to function to affect this emotional field in pain
would be to:
1) Recognize resistance as a normal reaction to leadership rather than taking it personally.
2) Know that relationships are reciprocal and interactive and that our own calm, reflective functioning influences the congregation positively.
3) Exercise patience because anxiety’s effect on an emotional field is immediate, whereas our well-composed functioning influences the emotional system in the longer term.
4) Consider our goals for the congregation to avoid giving in to the pressure of the moment, such as by quickly fixing problems and taking care of people’s anxiety.
5) Learn to tolerate anxious times in order to use them as opportunities for creative responses.
6) Manage our own anxiety. + pgs. 78-79
1) You can never make only one change. Change here creates change there.
2) No transformation happens without a crisis.
3) No significant change in history happened because at first a majority voted for it (Margaret Mead).
4) Change, like most things in life, starts small and grows larger.
5) ‘Those who come first are the last to accept new ideas’ (Edwin Friedman). This is the paradox of the change agent who, once his or her change is completed, tends to block or stall the new changes someone else wants to implement.
6) No emotional system will change unless people in the system change how they function with one another.
7) Learning is change. Resistance to the new is stronger if it is less familiar. Resistance to change is less likely if learning adds facts or meanings that do not disturb what is already known.
8) Change is stimulated when we look at things from a different angle, associate with new people, pass through a critical moment.
9) ‘Our brain is much better at changing the world than living with that change’ (Diane Ackerman).
10) ‘Congregations that systematically avoid conflict are also very likely to avoid change’ (Nancy Tatum Ammerman). + pgs. 79-80
Chapter 6 | The Essential Edge
Boundary violators go unattended and suffer no consequences. Although going the ‘second mile’ (Matt. 5:41) with offenders is commendable, to go the third, fourth, and fifth mile is indefensible. The lack of attention only enables the repetition of the invasive behavior. Some confuse tolerance with forgiveness and not being confrontive with being loving. + pg. 85
Usually a few leaders serve as the sentinels, the frontline of defense. They sense something is out of balance or troubling. Without their sensitivity or recognition, the other leaders would not be prepared to act. I have found that these gatekeeper leaders have proximity – that is, they are seeing things firsthand or up close. They have knowledge about events not widely known. In addition, these leaders realize a significant cost or consequence to the congregation that could result if something isn’t done, and they have a relationship with the people who are being harmed … they will find intruders. Lacking self-regulation, these individuals may act where they have no authority, say things that have no ground in truth, complain to everyone else except those who can do something about the situation, or place themselves in a position to control the nomination process. + pgs. 90-91
When the leadership is divided) a healthy struggle (works) around such questions as:
1) How are we going to function as a community?
2) What is our defining and unique mission?
3) What are the norms to which we hold each other accountable?
4) What are expectations of each member in regard to the whole?” – pg. 91
Dealing with people who function in a “Me Only” manner is time-consuming and energy-draining. They are determined to have it their way, regardless. They are so perverse that cultivating relationships or engaging them in a reasoned discourse is nearly impossible. And in congregations that have a tendency to resolve all troubles neatly and to pull back from ambiguous situations, leaders are tempted to leave these people alone rather than establish appropriate boundaries. Instead of providing immunity for the congregation, they offer cover for the people who lack self-regulation. As with any human organization, congregations need oversight. Administration is a service, a ministry, as the word itself indicates. Leaders are servants in a community. Shaping and preserving boundaries is an essential service of congregational leaders. + pg. 93
Love, after all, is long-suffering. Indeed it is. But love is not long-suffering and foolish. Love is not overindulgent. Love is not a failure of nerve. Love suffers long so that something new can be erected out of the old. Yet love does not suffer long because it is anxious about naming and confronting the violation. Love doesn’t put up with harmful boundary intrusion, because it would agitate the community’s peace. Long-suffering love is about doing away with suffering that issues from the harm of others, not being an accomplice to the harmful invasion. + pg. 94
Next post: CN | Servant Leadership: "We" Instead of "They"
Here are links to previous City Notes books: A Meal with Jesus; The Art of Neighboring; A Praying Life; Encounters with Jesus; The Rest of God; Letters to a Birmingham Jail; Notes from a Failed Missionary on Rediscovering Faith; The Pursuing God; Yawning at Tigers; Moving Towards Emmaus; Evangelical, Sacramental, and Pentecostal; Faith Without Illusions; Learning to Speak God; Drop the Stones; He Speaks in the Silence; The Dusty Ones; A Beautiful Disaster; Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times Part 1
Christ is all,
Rev. Mike “Sully” Sullivan
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